I just turned 32.

To be honest, I can't even remember how old I am that I had to actually do a little math to have it figured out. I even double confirmed my age with my husband, who's the same age as I am (now did you know we were actually classmates in primary 1, seated next to each other in class? o_0 I'll spill on this a little later)

Had a little celebration with my two daughters the night before, and another little celebration together with my husband (who's now free from pox, not yet the scars) and my parents-in-law.
That was it.
No big celebration, no hu-ha.

I got myself a bag..well actually husband got it for me ;)

I suppose when you get to this age, you wouldn't mind about not having any parties. An intimate small gathering with your loved ones is all you need. Hassle-free.

I am now 32. Two daughters came out of me; one from a C-section while the other a vbac. Turning 32 is taking quite a toll on me, truthfully speaking. I have crows feet at the corner of my eyes when I smile, eyebags are as expensive as Prada. My baby belly is probably going to be here forever if I really continue to not put any effort to make it go away, what more the stretch marks. Grey hairs are making their way to shine more on top of my head, and my boobs are out of shape thanks to almost 4 years of direct breastfeeding both daughters. And just about anything you may think of an old fart, that is how I am right now, no joke.

Not going to lie, I do feel a little down with the lost of my youth. I am indeed youth-less. I can't even put myself to dress nicely - everything I wear now is just jeans and loose t-shirts and sweaters. Frumpy.

But I'm not going to chow down the age-factor just like that. I realized ageing and motherhood can't and wont take everything out of me (motherhood is the best I swear!, minus the excessive tiredness at times).

Age with grace.

That's my goal right now.

I'm not here just to look good to please other people more than I please myself. I got to be comfortable in my own skin, however and whichever way I'd dress myself, it is to satisfy my own self.

Therefore I've finally made a promise to start taking a better care of myself. Health, mainly.

To start off, I've started taking health supplements to boost my overall being. Next up is to start exercising, which I always seem to avoid doing. Since my husband is a personal trainer (has been for the longest time), having a wife who barely does any workout ticked him off most of the time. LOL.

I've bought my gears. Since I'm always on my feet managing the kids and the household, just thinking about starting an exercise routine is like a torturous thing to do to my body. Buat rasa nak muntah, nak pengsan.

I promise I'll start soon.
And I promise I'll start on the healthy eating habit next too (which is the most difficult thing for me to do, omg)

Or perhaps I should just put those on 2018 new year's resolution list, instead of now, no?

I have amazing families, a loving husband and two daughters whom came out of me that are worth more than a gazillion wrinkles, stretch marks and even grey hairs. So why worry much? I'm going to just take one step at a time, at a slow pace if I really have to. I'll just embrace everything that I have now, and just be grateful with what Allah has bestowed upon me and enjoy life to the fullest.