Mama(n)datory

My car's finally being repaired. Since I don't have my car with me for the week (most probably two), we're mostly staying indoors. Actually I do have a loaned car - my dad's - but I've pledged myself not to drive it around except only for school runs, just because.

We did not do any grocery shopping over the last weekend, and we're even out of cooking gas. I don't bother to stock up anyway so we just eat whatever we have in the back pantry (mostly cereals, instant noodles, cookies, breads, canned tunas; basically anything that can be prepared instantly without having to cook it on the stove). The kids don't mind though and I obviously don't mind either since it's easier for me. Don't you worry. Of course I still get them nutritious packed lunch or my husband will bring home dinners alternately.

It does involves more money if we continue buying takeaways but definitely less hassle for me in the kitchen.

What doesn't work as such? You pay, you get it done easily. Everything works just the same.

So since we're staying indoors most hours, I'm spending more time focusing on my diet and fitness training at home. It's a daily hurdle I've to push myself with every morning, sometimes evening too with yoga and pilates.

My arms are more toned now. I can finally do push-ups (even single-leg pilates ones!). Believe me when I say I could never do a single (even modified!) push-ups before this, such weak arms and core.

My tummy is starting to take its shape now too although the pregnancy (post-caesar) bulge is really hard to get rid of. Sigh. Post-pregnancy stretchmarks? Yep, so prominently and permanently there. Double, triple sigh.

Bum. Bum is still meh. I have a flat bum all my life, and I find it pretty hard to perk it up much. Will definitely work more on this next.

Pats self for drive and determination. Pats self for results too.

I just hope my husband and family doesn't sabotage my diet as much. They always do, especially on weekends. I have a weakness for food, good home-cooked food, and I always, ALWAYS give in and indulge. SIGHHH.

Day xx of yoga - unable to exactly count how many days since I first started doing yoga considering I've stopped for a period of time every couple of weeks - I could say I'm slowly getting there, getting much stronger and more flexible as day goes by. A little slow progress on stability though, I guess I've lost my centre of gravity post-ceasarean if that's even a possibility.

Back in the first few days, I couldn't even reach my ankles, let alone my toes during a forward fold. I couldn't even hold a 10 seconds plank. I couldn't even do a simple flow nor a proper downdog.

Today, I'm pretty impressed of how far I've achieved eventhough I know it is not much to be really proud of compared to other yogis, but at least I know that I'm slowly progressing at my own pace. Not that I'm desperately aiming to be doing the full splits or the headstand anytime soon so yeah, I'm still happy with my level of achievement nevertheless.

No, no photos of my yoga progressions. I'm still so flabby and unfit to post a photo of myself in sweat. So not pleasing to the eyes.

I even started to do daily morning jogs after Mayesa's school run in the morning. My pace was just about to increase after a week of doing so but it abruptly came to a halt after the car accident I had the other day.

Yes we, as in the kids and I were involved in a little accident which I rather not elaborate here. Alhamdulillah we are fine, except for the car, which we're still waiting for the car service centre to finally let us send for repair works once our slot is made available.

The accident caught me in a traumatic state for a couple of days, that I dare not drive out much hence the end of my morning jog at the park. Yes, I could have just continued on with it, to jog, around my neighborhood but the shocking state that I was in really killed my mood and determination to jog and to even be outside of the house, even after almost a month since the accident happened.

Yoga in the comfort of my own home is the best, the safest. I'm going to commit to it - just yoga for now, although I'm gaining quick interest to be trained by my husband at the gym which I am planning to join soon once I've figured out the best schedule and the best babysitter to my second-born for a couple of hours a day.

But first, I need to get myself a new yoga mat as this current one is losing its grip and getting more slippery each day. Kids have been using it as their play mat at times too - as their own yoga mat when they decided to join me sometimes, also as their imaginary magic carpet - so yes I do need to get myself a new yoga mat pronto.

True confessions..

• I used to think of yoga just as a stretching exercise along with a little meditation.
• I also thought that people who does yoga are flexible, and I am far (with a capital F.A.R) from it.

Not very yogic of me, I know.

Since I've bought some new workout gears the other day and have yet to use it (because I have been procrastinating to start any kinds of exercises), I finally decided to make a commitment to practice yoga daily (if permits) starting just a few days ago. Keyword : discipline. I feel like I need to do something good for my soul - which I don’t nurture as often as I’d like - so I decided to challenge myself to become a yogini and hoping I could really fit it into my life forever. In shaa Allah.

Source : Google/Home of Yoga New Farm

Many people think that they need to be flexible to begin yoga (so I thought too). As I've mentioned, I am far from flexible. I can barely straighten my legs up in the air nor to touch down my toes. I don't balance well too, both physically and mentally.

It was definitely hard and uncomfortable for the first few tries as I was also clueless about the whole yoga terms and poses. I even had difficulties to really clear off my mind to just focus on connecting my mental, physical and emotional being. Kids screaming around and going underneath me whilst I do my plank is of no great help either. I mean I know now I really should prepare a proper yoga space at home and find myself the perfect peaceful time to really get myself be in the zone. But whatever and however it is that I do yoga now will suffice for the moment. At least I've started doing and committing to it for a start.

Yoga is not a destination. It's a journey, a long one to be honest. I still find it hard at the beginning of each session and my body is still stiff as a log but once I started to feel the whole aura, the enthusiasm is there for me to not stop practicing it. I find that yoga actually helps me to connect my body and mind to the rhythm of my breath. It makes me feel good and more at peace (even while sweating buckets). I sure need a whole load of practice to master it!

Truthfully speaking, yoga has definitely changed my perception. So here's a promise to continue challenging myself to commit to this practice. I hope yoga will soon bring a great sense of peace to my life, along with the physical benefits of muscle strength, respiratory health, and improved flexibility - both body and mind.

Now on to the yoga mat!