"Mayesa  tertarik keluar banyak sangat baby wipes and I can't put it back inside. Can you please help me?"

"Mama, Mayesa promise tak buat dah mengamuk cry taknak mandi masa mama suruh macam tadi. I promise. Sorry."

"Thank you for the drink mama tapi Mayesa tertumpah air kat baju sebab minum tak duduk elok-elok. Just a little bit. Kejap lagi Mayesa tukar baju lain and put this in laundry ok"

My heart melts. Proud, nevertheless.

The husband sees it as the other way around, though.
"Dia takut je bila buat salah sikit mesti dia minta maaf. You garang sangat dengan dia kot".

Excuse me. That's discipline, and manners. She knows her please, thank you and sorry. Bukannya dia takut. Yes, I am guilty of scolding and punishing her for her wrongdoings at times. Garang bertempat and within limits. I just had to. To mould, to educate. She's aware of what can or can not be done now.

I repeat. Bukannya dia takut kena marah. In fact, I can now keep my cool better bila dia pandai bezakan salah dan betul, baik dan buruk etc. Yang penting, dia express herself dan tak berselindung.

I repeat.
My heart melts.
She's moulding well into a great person.
Inshaa Allah.

Tonight I just saw  a boy who spilled  a spoonful of ice cream onto the floor. Mata menjeling rasa-rasa mak dia tak perasan, he wiped it off with his barefeet then wiped his feet off the rug. Guess what, his mom was aware of it and he got scolded for his action.

Itu baru takut.
Takut kena marah, dia sorokkan kesalahan dia.
Lagi bertambah kena marah, siap kena pukul.
Tapi marah semata-mata sebab lap aiskrim dengan kaki, tapi tak pula tegurkan ajar adab makan tu duduk elok-elok supaya tak comot tumpah, and manners especially. Jadi budak tu tak aware pon adab makan elok-elok.

Mayesa is aware of her right and wrong doings, sengaja atau tak sengaja, and immediately  express her gratefulness or apologizes for it.
Pandai bersyukur dan tak sembunyikan kesalahan.
Discipline and manners.

Yes, discipline and manners.
That's what lacking in today's society.

Kalau dah kata budak-budak sekarang perhimpunan sekolah kena duduk atas jalan tar pon sekolah kena saman; anak-anak bunuh anak orang lain pon disalahkan anak yang dibunuh je dan yang membunuh tu anak yang baik; anak-anak taknak dengar ditegur jangan balik rumah lewat malam pon mak bapak boleh putus asa dan taknak didenda sikit pon; kalau cikgu marah sebab kelaku tak baik kat sekolah pon habis cikgu dihentam dan mak bapak datang terajang cikgu..

Who is really at fault here?
Salah mak bapak tak membentuk dan mendidik.
Takutkan sangat dengan anak tu macam anak tu lah raja, anak tu lah segala-galanya. Turutkan semua kehendak anak sebab malas layankan perangai anak yang macam-macam bila tak diturutkan kehendak dia.

Salah konsep. Lepas tangan parenting responsibilities namanya tu.
May I ask again, so who is at fault here when the child behaves badly?

I know I've done something right here.

Sidenote: Don't criticize my method of disciplining my children. You may not agree on even a little scolding or even slightest punishment towards your child, I may not even agree on you baby-ing your child the whole way. To each its own. Tapi anak-anak jadi apa kemudian hari, reflects back to what we have done to help them throughout their life journey.

I repeat : again, I know I've done something right.